I woke up in the middle of the night with a small yeast infection. I took some probiotic. (I quite taking these because I was afraid of a reaction between them and the anxiety meds. However, I decided a 3am that I needed the probiotic, because no yogurt in the house.
Woke this morning with the beginnings of a head cold. Started with Ziacam. After dosing 5 times during the day, I don't feel like the beginning of cold. More like the end of one!!
I had to take the Alprazolam around 6pm, too much interaction with husband and kids, and dinner, and bills, and baseball, and work, and house appraisal, and tv, friends calling, talking to son in AR, and next weekend, and spicy chili.......Or maybe just life?????

I set up a washing station at the main entrance of my home--the mud room. Of course I had to clean that room from top to bottom. I could not expect others to wash if my sink was dirty. I didn't finish. I will finish tomorrow!! This one little bitty room took me about 4 hours to clean, every time my heart raced- I rested. I finally felt like I was doing something besides sitting around or napping away my life. I took the alprazolam when I first noticed something "not right". What a difference. I feel better today than I have felt since October 08!! {I have been "sick" since Oct 08.} It was almost like my old self (before the GD), I knew that it wouldn't last. But i really enjoyed those hours when i could pretend that i existed as a whole person.
NOTE**Sinus Surgery scheduled for May 8th.

Slept late. I am always tired and exhausted, even with 8,10,12,14 hours sleep! Randy lead a Bible study for us today. I miss the fellowship of church, however, the lights give me a headache and cause me to be dizzy.
The tremors started and the anxiety hit like a brick slamming into a window. i feel like the broken window. Parts of myself are still there, but i can't reach the rest. My heart is racing...it feels that it it will explode any minute. My dh went and got me a blood pressure / heart monitor.
**Talked to Randy and kids about how GD is immune disease so we need to do everything we can to protect mom. This means everyone MUST wash their hands immediately when they come in. Also shoes need to be left at the door. And the most important---if you are SICK or think that you are SICK; you will not be ALLOWED in. Casey wants to make a sign for the doors. Emily said that she would help!! DH explained to the kids that they had to help also by cleaning the rooms and keeping them as germ free as possible.

I made french toast & washed a few dishes and was wore out till noon! Then the tremors started and I began to feel "crazy". So I took alprazolam...in about 30 mins I went from yelling and barely moving to a felling of contentment (kind of like i just accomplished the best most greatest thing). Around 4- I started feeling edgy so I took a 2 hour nap. I'm trying hard not to take the meds to all day. It scares me that I am starting to feel that being "doped up" is the only way I can make it through the day.
NOTE**I have been checking my heart rate all day=consistently around 100 resting. Will get some kind of monitor so that i can go back to yoga and light walking. Also, going to get a different ointment for my eyes. I really need the thick gel that goes in at bedtime. My eyelids are not closing all the way so they are dry, itchy, and feel swollen. Hopefully this new stuff will help my eyes to feel better.

Slept most of the day. Exhausted beyond all. Eyes getting worse. Randy confirmed that believed that "a little change" was noticeable--more like swollen below eye, not bulging. Continueing to take pictures of eyes.

Visit with GP. The anxiety is out of control. I can't go through another day with these ranges of emotions and reactions. Prescribed Alprazolam .25mg , 3x daily. Seemed to think that the insomnia is related to the anxiety. Watching and will consider something different after surgery.
**I am soo tired. My headache feels like someone hitting me in the head with a hammer!!

Visit with Vascular Surgeon. He went over Graves Disease, suggested immediate and complete thyroid removal. Will my eyes get better? maybe-maybe not. Will my anxiety get better? maybe-maybe not. Will the depression lighten up? maybe-maybe not. Get the picture?
This horrible disease effects EVERY PERSON differently. The drs don't know what causes it and their only plan is to treat the symptoms so that the patient can have some sort of normal life. Also, stated that I should be healed enough to undergo sinus surgery in the 4-6 week range.
SURGERY ON APRIL 9TH.