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Friday, November 27, 2009

i am exhausted! And there is a new pain in my chest. It is dull and i will watch it.
my sinuses are getting better and my ears stopped draining. yippee !!
i just can't get enough sleep. I am bone weary and cold all the time. And am reexperiencing spells of dizziness. (I haven't had these in a few months.) I go back to GP in a few weeks and will be getting new cholesterol meds then, I will talk to him about the cold, tiredness, and dizziness and see it maybe these are med related or GD related??
No news on the eye surgery. I guess insurance gets to set the pace on this issue. I'm still unstable with TSH ~~ so I couldn't get it anyway. It is just depressing. I so badly want to see again enough to drive. I feel so helpless.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

I went to the dr on Monday, I had been in bed all weekend with body aches and cough. I found out that i have a sinus infection and that my ears were holding fluid and that I had a touch of bronchitis. After a few days of antibiotics and cough meds, I am feeling a whole world better.
I am getting ready of thanksgiving meal at my house tomorrow.

I am thankful of so many things....
my husband, who loves me dearly
my eldest, who is back for overseas
my daughter, who is on the brink of adulthood
my baby, who is no longer a baby at 10
my FIL, who loves my children greatly
my mom, who is battling cancer
my friends, who pray for me

I am not ready to be thankful for Graves Disease, Thyroid Eye Disease, Depression, Anxiety, Panic Attacks, High Cholesterol ~~~~ I'm working on this issue and turning it all over completely to God.

I pray that tomorrow goes well here at your houses.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

We made it back home. And it has taken me 3 full days to recover from the trip.
I am hoping to get dressed tomorrow!!
I hate Depression
I am so thankful for the people at Cedar Grove for picking up son for Awana's, it is the highlight of his week.
My eyes continue to itch and are very dry. I am using so much eye drops that I really should have invested in the company!! When they are really wet, they don't bother me as much (pain wise) however my vision is worse when the eyes are so wet. It is a true trade off :(
I hate Graves Disease

Saturday, November 14, 2009

I'm in Arkansas motel where DH and DS are watching Tennessee football. I am just glad to not be in a moving truck. The motion sickness has not been as bad this trip; but, I can still feel my tummy roll around. DD checked in with us and she seems to be doing ok at home. She is so grownup now that she is 18! hahaha

My right eye appears to be bulging :( I just noticed it this morning. It is not as bad as some of the pics on there. I will post A new pic when I get home. Also my eyes went from dry and itchy to running and itchy since this trip started. Maybe just anxiety????

I believe in the power of prayer. I believe in miracles. I just ask that whatever continues to happen in my life that I search out God's will for me. That even when I am ready to quit fighting that I find one more ounce (or even a gram) of strength.

Much thanks to all of you out there listening about my fight to win my life.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

i had bloodwork at 2 dr's. It wiped me out all day.

I am getting ready to make a trip to Arkansas to see my son. He returned from Afghanistan on Monday and hubby is bubbling over to see him. I want to see him too ~~ I just want him to come home to see me. The thought of 8 plus hours in a truck is horrible, the motion sickness, not having any dept perception, smell issues, the anxiety over everything . . . .
But i will push on and try to be sane!

Monday, November 9, 2009

I don't know what else to say. I am going tomorrow to get bloodwork done. Hopefully I might gain some answers or guidance. I tried talking to husband about depression... he just doesn't get it. i feel that we are falling apart and that he is tired of me and me being sick!! i know that all of that is probably in my head; but ~~~~

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

I think I am beginning to understand depression. It's an ugly beast that slinks up behind you while you are out there living your life. It has only one goal--to destroy your life. It is cruel in how it attacks you body and spirit.
My eyes continue to get worse. The lower lids are definitely retracting also. My eyes hurt all the time now. Nothing seems to relieve the pain, itchiness, dryness, blurry vision. And my dept perception has gotten worse!!
I have been sick now for over 1 year. I feel that the last 12 months of my life have been stolen from me and I am very scared that I don't have anything left inside of me to fight with.
Anyone out there who has overcome this horrible battle ?????
Or does everyone lose?????