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Friday, June 25, 2010

Getting ready for next trip to Mayo. I am leaving on Sunday morning and am so excited to be going -- I can't wait to show the drs my improved vision.
I pray that we have a safe trip. My MIL is going with me on this visit. We will be flying on small private planes and it will be an experience. I hope that I don't puke. I am still motion dizzy at times and really don't want to embarrass myself that way... I think that i will take a plastic bag --just in case!!

Saturday, June 19, 2010

My mom is sicker than she let on to me. Over the past few days, I have found out that she is basically "on the couch" because of lack of energy and pain. She has been fighting cancer now for over a year. She had a 2nd bone biopsy yesterday and is in alot of pain.
I get so wrapped up in my disease and MY fight that I forget that there are others out there in worse health. I pray that my mom can beat this horrible cancer that is robbing her of a quality life.
I am so conflicted on how to act and what to say..... I have been so excited and over-the-top ever since I started to feel and see better that I didn't even notice her going downhill. I hate myself for that. I love my mom and want her to live.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Today I saw something red in my side yard -- up in the bushes. I put on shoes on walked over there and behold...... 908 TRILLION blackberries. I didn't know we had them because I have been inside 99% of the time for the last 18 months.
Thank you God for Blackberries and being able to see them!!

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

I am getting better each and every day.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

The last few days I have experienced more anxiety attacks than in the last 2 months total. I think it is where I am getting better, and that It is scary and exciting and scary and wonderful and scary..... You see what is happening???
I got a call today from Mrs. Betty my coordinator at Mayo and she has me scheduled for June 29th. I will be doing bloodwork and more eye testing and some new test that she said would show the level of change in my eyes. I can't wait. :)

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

I have been so low that the floor looked like the ceiling. The depression is a weight that continues to press on me and I can't seem to escape.
That being said, my sight continues to improve daily. But the anxiety appears to grow. My DH told me that the reason he was didn't want me to drive was that i am showing a low level of confidence in myself and my ability to drive! It was like being sucker punched, because i knew deep-down that i was scared but i thought i was able to hide it from him and others. I am scared of driving again. What if i get somewhere and my dept perception fails or the light hurts.....What if i just freak out because there is so much to see.....What if.....