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Thursday, April 30, 2009

I went to the Cardio dr today. The test showed that the structure of my heart was well developed and that maybe there was a slight thickening in the upper chamber. This could simply be a birth defect and no cause for alarm. However due to the pain and tightness in my heart, we cannot rule everything just yet. I will be having more testing after recovering from the sinus surgery tomorrow. Yeah!!! I am praying for the headaches and dizziness to go away.
I will also be looking for another Cardio dr!! I refuse to go to any dr that patronizes and belittles my symptoms!! I have ignored my health for many years and now that i realize how important my health is ..... I will not accept a dr that treats me as ignorant of MY BODY.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

i have spent the past 3 hours crying!!!! Emily has left for California and my emotions are out of control. I just took the second dose of the anxiety meds....I hope this helps. I go tomorrow for the results of the stress/echo test! Please keep her and her safety in your prayers!!

Monday, April 27, 2009

I had a major anxiety attack today. I wanted to go with a friend to the grocery store and all of the sudden my hands started to sweat and my heart started to race, then I started to get dizzy. My eyes even got so blurry i had to lose my glasses for most of the day. I had to tell her that I just couldn't go outside the house!! I took my meds, but it took most of the day to calm back down. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired!!

Saturday, April 25, 2009

I have had chest pains off and on all day. But i managed to be SUPERMOM... Emily has prom tonight and her dress needed to have a hem put in, so mom to the rescue. I just hope that nobody looks to close at it!!
When I woke this am, my eyes were more "gritty" than they have been in a long time. Emily and Randy both noticed that now the left eye seems bulging a bit. I have used so many drops today. UGGHH! I know that there is a reason....i just wish that I would know what it is. I am just so tired all the time. I can't wait for the meds to even out so that I will have some energy.
I'm still working on my list of 25 things that GD has done for me. I will finish it hopefully before surgery and get it posted!!

Friday, April 24, 2009

It has been a looooong week. Sorry I haven't posted. Even though I "feel" better, my pc is downstairs and the walk has caused my heart rate to rise, causing my anxiety to rise....SO I have basically slept and rested all week----except when going to Drs on Tuesday and Thursday!
On Tuesday---I went to Cardiologist to check heart due to squeezing type pain and the palpations I've been having. He put me on Zantac for a month because "statistically" I am not in a class of people that has heart problems. He scheduled a test for Thursday. Wait on starting exercise program until test results come back an we know everything is ok with my heart.
On Thursday---Randy took me to the Stress/Echo test yesterday, and we will know something on 4/30. It was crazy.. they told me 2-4 hours. I was in and out in 35 minutes. My chest hurts.
Saw Endo, he changed meds slightly--hopefully this dose will work better for me. Advised me to take Calcium supplement daily. Also Endo really didn't want me to have sinus surgery. He stated that sometimes it worked..and sometimes it didn't! I have to do it because I have to do everything I can to get rid of the headaches! I am working towards quality of life. With the headaches, I am in so much pain, I lay in bed for days or am so "doped" that i exist in my own little "doped up" world. He also measured my EYES.. He said that they are worse. Need to consider surgery SOON. {Hopefully after the sinus surgery my eyes will go into a COLD phase and I can get the necessary surgery. }
Saw GP, he gave me meds for depression and slightly changed the dose on the anxiety meds. He also examined rectum due to bleeding since surgery!! What a week. GP put me on suppository for 2 weeks, if not better then will send me to specialist!

Friday, April 17, 2009

God is a mighty God!
I just loved the NASA picture and it brought joy to me so I wanted to share it with you!
I am feeling better today. Last night I had some chest pains. I think that its the heart palpations coming back (I haven't had any since the surgery). I read that some people with GD get heart palpations! I will speak with GP next week about this symptom. I also want to know how long with my neck be numb??? Been a week since surgery, still no feeling above the incision....

Thursday, April 16, 2009

I am resting all day because my eyes hurt! Keeping them as "wet" as possible!

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Randy & I went to ENT to discuss surgery and possibly moving date up. The headaches are intense and not much I can do for the pain. ENT thought that the surgery would relieve some of the swelling around my eye, maybe getting rid of the blurry vision. Dare I say it......HOPE.
New Surgery Date May 1st.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Will my eyes get better? Impossible to say. The dryness and excessive tearing comes with having an autoimmune disease (the antibodies exist in my body, just without their target). I have TED (Thyroid Eye Disease), and my eyelids are retracted, I am swollen on the underside, and my eyes themselves are slightly bulging. All of this is effecting my eyesight, it is slightly blurry and hard to focus.

Will I get another autoimmune disease? Impossible to say. I am more likely to end up with a second autoimmune disease, by virtue of the fact that I have one already{ just look at statistics}. No way of knowing which it may be, or if I will get a second one at all. I am going to try real hard to be healthy and as stress free as possible.

Right now, I am focusing on recovering from the surgery, and from the hyperthyroidism. And trying not to think about upcoming sinus surgery!

Monday, April 13, 2009

I am thankful for the many prayers that have been said on my behalf. I went to dr to check calcium levels---mine were PERFECT! I am now on thyroid replacement meds for the rest of my life---and that's ok. I am tired, and sore (but I no longer look like Frankenstein). I am grateful for inlaws in helping with the kids. And to the many friends that have provided food for my family. I feel so blessed to have you wonderful people in my life. My emotions don't seem to be as erratic (maybe because of the pain meds?) and my eyesight is still blurry but not experiencing any double vision and the light still hurts them. I know that the thyroidectomy isn't supposed to make my eyes "better"......but one can hope, right?

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Friday Night Update

Talked to Randy again last night, he said that she was hanging in there. She had gotten up for a little bit and eaten and visited a bit, but then returned back to bed. He said that her pain in her throat was far worse than she had expected. She didnt expect to have so much difficulty swollowing.

I am going over there later today. So I will hopefully be able to see her and see how she is.

Keep praying for all of them.


Friday, April 10, 2009

Shes a comin home!

Good News! Michelle is on her way home! Randy said everything was going well. I am hoping to get over there and visit, maybe this afternoon or I will let ya know more when I know more!!


Thursday, April 9, 2009

Good News!

Hi friends, Michelle's husband, Randy called around 4:30PM to tell me that Michelle had come through surgery and that all seemed to have went fantastically. He said with any luck she will be released to come home tomorrow morning. WOW! God is so good and I know that Hes completely embraced Michelle and her family for this. Please continue to pray for them, as the unknown is always more scarey than anything else. But God IS in control and WHEW! I know "I" am glad for this! I will update you as soon as I hear more.

A friend

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Getting ready for surgery. Please continue to pray for me to heal swiftly, for my calcium levels to be ok and for the drs get the replacement meds right the first time! Thanks to all of you out there praying for me and my family.
ps--i am scared

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

ALL LIGHT HURTS!!! The intense pain has triggered the headaches. I had another eye "attack" around 1pm. I thought I might have a little person behind my eyeball making a campfire! I self medicated enough to basically pass out for 2-3 hours. When I woke, I stayed heavily medicated. I wanted to spend time with my family (even if i was in fog and later bouncing off the walls) before the surgery.

Monday, April 6, 2009

While getting dinner ready, Randy & Emily shared the sermon with me. Then Randy made a comment about the song Peace Like a River. Casey wanted to know what that meant. Emily explained that it is ever-flowing and ever-covering. Randy & i seemed to think that was a pretty good answer. Then it hit me, that everybody's perspective of the river is different. Just a few months ago I would have said, my river is all dried up. Just a few weeks ago I would have told you that my river was the rapids that bottomed out. Just a few days ago I would have told you that I am like the foamy water clinging to the muddy banks. TODAY- I will boldly proclaim that I have Peace because I belong to Jesus Christ and that my river is gentle, yet wide and deep. What a journey I have been on...........
What a good day, I had. Around 9pm, my eyes went on FIRE. The right one bulged out and both were red and itchy and swollen. And the pain was horrible. It was like being hit int eh eye crossed with someone pulling my eyeball out---yes, it was that bad. The "attack" lasted about 4 hours. Could this be related to using the eye ointment? Or my menstruation cycle? Or is this the beginning of the "hot" phase of TED??????

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Romans 8:38-39

38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Jeremiah 29:11-14

11For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile."
I had a really good day yesterday. Randy took the kids to morning service at Cedar Grove. I can't wait to rejoin the family once my eyes are better. Everywhere i have turned the last week or so I have felt the presence of God. In things like my son getting a "big person's "Bible (with tabs!) and then him reading most of John on the way home. When he came in with his dad and asked me my favorite verse i told him that right now i was relying on Jeremiah 29: 11-14 but I rally like Romans 8: 38-39. He flipped open to those verses and read them aloud to us. Casey so simply pointed out the I (the mommy) didn't make the plans , that God already knew my thyroid was going to be messed up and that or course nothing can change how i (mommy) love God. Casey and Em then talked about how mom needed to let go of control and let God be in charge. I have been blessed regardless of what the outcomes of the surgeries I am facing. My blessing a bigger than a mountain. Thanks be to God!

Friday, April 3, 2009

Dozzzed, rested and slept all day. Vision is getting worse. I am experiencing more double vision and a lot more blurriness. The acne in much worse. The white spots on my tongue are gone,however the roof of my mouth is still tender. The anxiety is much much worse--it seems to have a life of its own now. I have a count down for my thyroid surgery. I am praying that once this diseased organ is out of my body that i will have a chance to heal. To regain some quality of life.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

I feel that have had lost my Independence!!! I have to rely on others to meet my needs. I HATE it! It is horrible to feel so confined. I can't even go to the store for acne cream--my face is so oily---gross!! I'm laying in bed with tears running down my checks because no one understands way I am so sad, upset, angry, withdrawn. Hell- I don't understand. i just want ME back. AM I ever coming back or do i have to always feel like this? the depression has crept into every corner of my life.
I tried to sit on the covered porch to enjoy the nice weather today. Even with my wrap-around sunglasses, i only made it about 15 minutes. before the light felt like it was stabbing my eyes. I am trying to find some way to tolerate the sun and lights because Casey wants me to go to his baseball scrimmage tonight. I just don't know it i can do it----with the drive (even 15 mins i get sick), then the walk to the bleachers (5-8 mins, will make me so dizzy and possible headache), plus the setting sun and the field lights (instant headache and anxiety attack). I have had to disappoint him so much these last few months because of these crazy symptoms--I am crying with desperation. I feel that I have lost my life..................

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

I have been housebound since the beginning of the year.
And fighting colds, infections, and the flu since October 2008, my outside activities were limited. I almost didn't notice when I made the makes me sad, I miss the old me, the one who would go and go and do and do.
Rested all day, too exhausted to move. no energy! Couldn't focus on the book I've been reading (2nd Chance by James Patterson). I would read 2-3 sentences and my eyes would blur and the words would "move" creating a double vision effect. I had to close my eyes "helping" my right eyelid to close by gently closing it and holding it there until my eyes felt rested and refreshed. This is getting ridiculous. I can't watch tv because the light hurts, i can't read because my eyes won't focus, i can't have a conversation because i can't follow it and i can't visit because i get sick in the car! I just cried and cried feeling like I am loosing my life piece by piece.