Site Meter

Sunday, December 5, 2010

I have been better at taking meds lately~~ i moved them to the kitchen window (where I can't miss seeing them). I still am extremely tired and crash every night by 9pm. I don't get my levels checked again until Jan, but thinking I will call endo to see if we can do an extra blood test this week and then compare it to the one scheduled for Jan.
I know that Graves effects everyone differently so maybe the "perfect" numbers for me haven't been found yet.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Over the last week I have been fighting off a horrible 'bug'. Houston & Braydon have also been sick. Houston is well and Braydon & I are recovering. However, Randy (DH) is in bed SICK :(
Much to my amazement, my eyes did not seem to get worse this time. They were never dry, itching, irritated or any thing else. I am thankful for that.
Anyone know about energy levels in relation to T3 or T4 levels?

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

We just got back home from a trip to send off our oldest son. He is going to Koera for a year! I miss him already. However, God has filled up my life. These new additions to our family are a huge blessing. Houston, Keeley & Braydon made the trip to Little Rock exciting and adventure filled. Casey kept us grounded with the reality that our family unit is now much bigger than before! I am truely blessed~


Also our daughter Emily had her baby right before we left. Welcome to Kiera!!

Here is an updated picture of my eyes. My left eye is still "big & buggy". However, I have depth perception now and the light only hurts in some instances (like twilight). I am truely blessed.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

I am about the stupidest person around.........................

Somehow I FORGOT to take my meds for a couple of days(3) . I didn't understand why I was all shaky, and dizzy, and sick feeling. When hubby asked me about the meds- I started to cry. Because I instantly knew that I didn't take them that morning and couldn't remember when the last time was.
I know that I am forgetful, but come-on. I have to take these stupid pills for the rest of my life. How could I forget?

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

I now know what has been wrong with me.... I have been fighting off an infection. I have ear infections in both ears and acute sinuses. ugghh
Reading back over my last post, I am embarasses my how fickle i seem withmy relationship with the LORD. Father, please forgive me.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

For those of you with Graves...
You know how stress makes our symptoms worse....
You know how our diets make our symptoms worse.....
So what do you do when you start to feel your life coming apart???
I know my meds are right (checked last week)
I know that I am sleeping enough (9-1o hours)
I am eating healthy (90% of the time)
I am talking more to God
And yet....................................... I feel it slipping
I tired to tell my hubby, he doesn't understand
Does Anyone ??????

Thursday, October 7, 2010

I am so excited about today. I am taking the children on a "nature walk" thru the woods. This is something that I would not have even thought possible 6 months ago!
Please pray for these children - they are in much need of God's healing.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Have you ever wondered what it means to be "lost and then found". I grew up in church and those words always hit my soul but now . . . I am truly found!
I have been given a second chance at living life. I still have some minor issues with light sensitivity (I can wear sunglasses). And I still have my left eye slightly protruding. This was the better of the two before the treatment. (I'll put a new pic up & you can judge)
What a ride I have been on these last few months.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

I am getting stronger each and every day.
Three months ago I was not 'living' my life. I was just passing thru.
I am now living each and every minute thanks to a powerful GOD.
God has blessed me beyond measure with my healing.
Randy & I got emergency temporary custody of my cousins 3 kids on the 13th of this month.
And it is amazing every day to be able to do things that I haven't been able to do in over 2 years. My adrenal glands checked out just fine. The endo told me that my vit D level was low and he put me on 50K 2 times a month.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

I just LOVE my Endo. When he walked into the exam room .... he was AMAZED at the difference in my eyes. He measured the "buggieness" of my eyeballs- and told me that they are about 90% better than the last visit!
I explained about the drug treatment at Mayo and how I have been given a second chance at living my life. Either thru the drug treatment of the HEALING of GOD. He was tongue tied and couldn't hardly get past the changes in my physical appearance to even talk to me.
I am having more tests run however to rule out something wrong with my adrenal glands. Please continue to pray.....

Thursday, July 1, 2010

The doctors at Mayo told me that based on the tests that my eyes are approximately 60% better!! I knew they were getting better ~~ but it sure is nice to have a number!

Friday, June 25, 2010

Getting ready for next trip to Mayo. I am leaving on Sunday morning and am so excited to be going -- I can't wait to show the drs my improved vision.
I pray that we have a safe trip. My MIL is going with me on this visit. We will be flying on small private planes and it will be an experience. I hope that I don't puke. I am still motion dizzy at times and really don't want to embarrass myself that way... I think that i will take a plastic bag --just in case!!

Saturday, June 19, 2010

My mom is sicker than she let on to me. Over the past few days, I have found out that she is basically "on the couch" because of lack of energy and pain. She has been fighting cancer now for over a year. She had a 2nd bone biopsy yesterday and is in alot of pain.
I get so wrapped up in my disease and MY fight that I forget that there are others out there in worse health. I pray that my mom can beat this horrible cancer that is robbing her of a quality life.
I am so conflicted on how to act and what to say..... I have been so excited and over-the-top ever since I started to feel and see better that I didn't even notice her going downhill. I hate myself for that. I love my mom and want her to live.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Today I saw something red in my side yard -- up in the bushes. I put on shoes on walked over there and behold...... 908 TRILLION blackberries. I didn't know we had them because I have been inside 99% of the time for the last 18 months.
Thank you God for Blackberries and being able to see them!!

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

I am getting better each and every day.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

The last few days I have experienced more anxiety attacks than in the last 2 months total. I think it is where I am getting better, and that It is scary and exciting and scary and wonderful and scary..... You see what is happening???
I got a call today from Mrs. Betty my coordinator at Mayo and she has me scheduled for June 29th. I will be doing bloodwork and more eye testing and some new test that she said would show the level of change in my eyes. I can't wait. :)

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

I have been so low that the floor looked like the ceiling. The depression is a weight that continues to press on me and I can't seem to escape.
That being said, my sight continues to improve daily. But the anxiety appears to grow. My DH told me that the reason he was didn't want me to drive was that i am showing a low level of confidence in myself and my ability to drive! It was like being sucker punched, because i knew deep-down that i was scared but i thought i was able to hide it from him and others. I am scared of driving again. What if i get somewhere and my dept perception fails or the light hurts.....What if i just freak out because there is so much to see.....What if.....

Saturday, May 29, 2010

My eyes are starting to "look" better. There is still swelling above my eyes. But most of the swelling has went down that was below my eye socket! My left eye still is worse than my right one. It still has lots of red streaks in the whites. But the right one has almost none. Everyday it is like a piece of me has been given back.
The emotions that go along with these changes are incredible!!
i have extremely high highs and very low lows. It is hard because I so badly want to be better and to be able to be "normal" and to participate in my son's life.
People around me don't understand the lows.
I try to explain..... but what is there to say ? ? I don't get it!!

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

I have my nest 2 visits to Mayo. June 29 & August 24.
I am so excited because there is improvement to my eyes!
I have had a rough time of it with my vision. It is almost like the "tunnel" vision that I had when my eyes started getting bad. I also have sharp pains that lead to migraines and then waves of nausea. and the double vision is more pronounced that before.... I know that even with these symptoms, I am getting better
~~I go back to GP in July, but if the headaches get much worse I will have to see him sooner.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Last night my daughter graduated high school. I am glad that she made it! She is onto the next chapter of her life.
It was horrible, my threw up because of my vision going into "tunnel" mode. Then I got dizzy and had to hold onto someone. My eyes seem to be getting better but the "waves" of tunnel vision and blurriness are knocking me down!

Thursday, May 20, 2010

I am back home and exhausted. My eyes are very tired. However, my eyesight is improving by leaps and bounds. I am experiencing small setbacks like color distinction, a dizziness when I strain to make out something. I am healing. It is AMAZING and WONDERFUL.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

I am at my mom's house and getting ready for bed! I am soooooo ready to go to Mayo for the next step in my treatment! I am getting better. A little at a time. I think after the next infusion I am even going to reach a new level of healing.
PRAISE GOD for the healing that I have already experienced
PRAISE GOD for the people at "Mercy Medical Airlift" they are helping to get me to this appointment at Mayo.
I love my hubby! I have been very difficult this last few days and he has been more understanding and we continue to grow closer~ sometimes after a misunderstanding it is easier to see the "true" emotions we have for each other.....
PRAISE GOD that I have a family that loves me and supports this treatment
I will post more when I return
~~Keep praying for a healing because GOD can and DOES perform MIRACLES today!

Thursday, May 13, 2010

I am waiting getting ready to head back to Mayo for the 2nd infusion.
I am healing. I was able to "track a mosquito" late yesterday afternoon. I have not been able to follow something that small with my eye for a looonnnggg time!
Today there is a bit of swelling on the upper eye. Maybe sinus? Maybe dust?
I pray every day for the healing to continue and I am thankful for this BLESSING!

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Well folks here it is ~~~~~~
I am feeling better, a lot of the swelling over my eyes has gone down, and I am able to wear my regular glasses!!! (I usually wear dark prescription glasses, even in the house)
About 50% of the redness is gone from my eyes and I was able to shop for groceries last night by myself (the first time in over a year!!) Hubby still had to drive me, and he walked around the store but I still felt a sense of freedom that I'd forgotten I was missing.
I spent most of the day with my mom. She took me to lunch at the Gibson Girls Luncheonette. I'd been wanting to try out this new "girly" cafe and was happy to share that with her! Then we went junkin at some of the local goodwill stores. I was floating to be out of the house and enjoying life again.
~~~~ After all that yesterday, I was exhausted.
PRAISE GOD for I know that I have some kind of HEALING
I can't wait for the next infusion treatment.
I have not felt this much hope in a long time...........

Thursday, May 6, 2010

I made it into the study!!
I got the first infusion on Tuesday and will be returning in 2 weeks for the 2nd one. I am keeping very positive and believing that I got the durg not the plecebo. But If I did get the plecebo, I believe that my cure is still going to happen.
I know that there are many people out there praying

Randy & I were not able to fly due to the weather, so we jumped into the stand-by car and off we went. 16 hours later we got to Rochester! After checking into hotel, we got about 5 hours sleep.

On Monday, I had testing and dr appointments for 8 am - 4pm. I was so hungry. After eating and a quick shower I feel into a deep sleep. I don't think i moved!
On Tuesday, I go the infusion, we got there at 7am but it didn't start until 8:30 - and it went until 2:30. Then off to see Dr Stan and another test. We decided to start our drive back home and try to drive 4-6 hours so that it won't be too hard on us.

Because we drove, Randy and i got to see part of our country that we have never been to.
We saw (from road) Illinois, Iowa, Indiana, Wisconsin, & Minnesota. It is amazing to see all that GOD created.

We wanted to let everyone know that the people at Mayo were great. Everyone that helped us in Rochester went so far beyond what we expected, that we felt blessed and well cared for.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Family & Friends ~~
Randy and I are so excited to be given this oppurtunity. We are packing and getting the house clean. Yes Mamaw, i have clean underwear!! Casey is already with Grandparent's and just a bit of laundry left and floors on main to be swept, moped & vaccumed! All in all~~ we are right on schedule.
I wanted to let everyone know that regaurdless of what happens on this trip... Randy & I believe in a MIGHTLY AWESOME GOD who can and does accomplish MIRACLES.
Much love goes out to our family and friends that have kept me in thier prayers over the last 16 months. I am blessed to have each and everyone of you in my lives!
When we get back I will post about the trip to Mayo.

Friday, April 30, 2010

I was thrilled to hear from my 1st pilot. He will be meeting us at the Rockwood airport on Sunday at 11:30. We will NOT fly in storms. So, if no flight~~ Randy will have to drive us to Mayo. We have a car on standby!
AND i got my schedule from Mayo in the mail today. It is crazy. Many appointments.
My emotions are stable as compared to yesterday.
I went to Casey's soccer practice, and between the sunlight, wind and pollen blowing, i was in BIG PAIN. I just cried and cried.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

This has been the CRAZIEST few days.....
Once I got the call from Mayo, I started working the phones looking for transportation.
I found this wonderful organization call Angel Flights. They have been working with me for the last few days to schedule my flight arrangements. Praise GOD !!!!!
Randy & I have went thru our savings and just about maxed out our credit card over the past 16 months and couldn't afford the airline tickets......
Thanks to Angel Flights and our wonderful family who is helping with Casey and by giving us money to travel on, I am able to take advantage of this wonderful opportunity.
With Love

Monday, April 26, 2010

Anyone out there willing to fly me to Mayo Clinic for treatment??
Anyone ?????

Saturday, April 24, 2010

I am going to Mayo Clinic on May 3-4.
Don't know how we are getting there yet....
I will get my clinic Id # on Monday and can start working the phones for travel.
Praise GOD that I made it to this step. Pray that I make it into the study.

Friday, April 23, 2010

I spoke to soon and too loudly! My emotions are raging like a fire! I can't seem to grasp them.
Probably because I am waiting on info from Mayo Clinic (on drug study) for GD opth, or TED.
I should hear something today.
Every time I think I have a handle on this disease it throws me a curveball. I had a few good days this past week and now I am a basket case. I can't even imagine what my life would be like if i can get into this trial and get the drug..................
To be able to "see" again, its now been 16 months since I have driven a car due to light sensitivity and loss of depth perception.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

I was able to sleep last night and I feel HUMAN!
It is wonderful, still no answer about drug trial acceptance.
And my eyes are dry today, I didn't dope them up last night with gel. SO i have had to use lots of drops to help me be able to see (as clearly as I do).
My emotions this past week seem to have been more stable than they have been in over a year.
I think that it is the new drug cymbalta that is making the difference.

Monday, April 19, 2010

I am made it past the first round of screening to be in a drug trail for TED at the Mayo Clinic!
I am thrilled, please pray with me that I be accepted into the program AND that I receive the drug treatment!
I am just awaiting on an appointment for final approval, once there I will get the shots that day. And then again 2 weeks later.
This drug treatment has an extremely high rate of killing-off the anti-bodys attacking my eyes. Then my eyes should be able to heal naturally.

Friday, April 16, 2010

Graves Conference just announced for October 21-24th !

Thursday, April 15, 2010

I am awake and ready for my first outing without hubby in over 18 months!
My grandmother is picking me up in about 5 hours and we are going to take some pics of the area that she grew up in. (Oliver Springs~ just a 20 min ride)
I am looking forward to spending time with her, I think that she has thyroid problems. She has recently told me that 2 of her sisters had "things" removed from their thyroids.
I pray that all goes well, without any anxiety attacks!!!

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

I was able to "understand" the bills this past week! I know that might sound a little strange, but I have had concentration and thought process issues for over a year now. It was wonderful.
Two really good days in a row
I'm riding the wave ~~~~~~

Monday, April 12, 2010

Today is the first day of Casey's Spring Break!! He has worked all day on science experiments that he found online. I am so thankful that he loves learning and science. He recently told me that he would find the cure for cancer (my mom has Leukemia), and then he would cure Graves!
I told him that might be exactly what GOD has planned for him!
Today was pretty good, I did have to take extra anxiety meds but I was able to truly enjoy the day with Casey for the first time in months!!

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

I know that this is a strange request .. ..

If you are like us, money is really tight between dr's and meds. I really would like to take my son, and hubby, somewhere this summer for a vacation. If you are interested in a house swap email me and we will make a plan!
I live in East Tennessee, just an hour from the Great Smokey Mnts, Dollywood Pigeon Forge, Townsend and many other attractions. (I can make suggestions and help find deals and free offers)
My home is a large family home with 4 bed, 3bath, living, den, screened porch, covered porch, gas grill, above ground pool. Can easily sleep 8.
We are looking for something different....we usually go to the beach but since I have been sick with GD and TED. I just can't do that kind of trip!
Thanks for reading

Saturday, April 3, 2010

I slept all of Friday and most of today. It seems like my world is getting smaller and smaller. I keep trying to fight it....
But there is so much going on in my personal life to cause stress and we all know that GD thrives on stress!!
I feel so lost

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Another sleepless night....
I am so upset at hubby's company. They are changing insurance carriers and we don't know how it is going to change our coverage! I'm sure is is going to be worse~~ it is EVERY time they change!!
I don't know what that means for OD surgery. I'm really struggling with anxiety and depression. I want to scream and then scream some more.
On another note~~
I am thankful for Jesus and the knowledge that I belong to Him. I have never experienced the kind of endless valleys that I have been trapped in for the last 2 years...but I know that the mountain top is there!!

Monday, March 29, 2010

Well the GP said thought that I needed to change anti-depressants. So I am weening off of citrolpram and onto cybalta. Still no meds for cholesterol. GP wants to wait until eye surgeries are over and my body has time to rebound.
I am so upset..... I have gained almost 30 pounds since mid-October of last year. That's only 5 months. Add that to the other 30 pounds that I gained at the beginning of this sickness and you have me~~~ The BIGGEST I HAVE EVER BEEN.
It is scary because I have been eating healthy (fish, chicken, low carbs, veggies and fruit) and yet the GP said that because my TSH was so crazy and where I have been battling depression that I have leaning toward my natural tendency to put on weight.
So~~ Today I rode the exercise bike some and it feels great, But I sure am ready for a nap!!
My sinuses are getting worse again, I live in East Tennessee and we are going into peak pollen season. I pray that i can have the OD surgery soon and be able to drive so that I can get the allergy shoots that ENT wanted me to get last year!

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

It has been horrible lately...
I have been hit by a big wave of depression and can't seem to keep keep my head above water.
I see the GP on Friday. I need to tell him about the stabbing headaches, is this something new?
No news yet on insurance approval for eye surgery.
Hubby has been very understanding. :)

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Does Anyone Else Feel This Way ???
Scared and Lonely......

Or am I the crazy woman in the wilderness
Well I survived another day with Graves.
Yesterday was the anniversary of my dad's death. It was hard. I got a little crazy and thought that I didn't take my meds; so I took them! Or course, later I realized that I doubled up on everything for the day. I had a few anxiety attacks (even with the double dose??) today.
Just being SCARED.......
Just upset that I can't go to soccer practice with Casey........
Just hurt that I can't put my arms around my daughter and protect her from the world......
Just mad that my son is leaving in a few days............
Just LONELY............

Friday, March 12, 2010

I have been so sick. Hubby brought home a nasty head cold. And I woke up Saturday with it and have basically been in bed since with a fever, chills, ear drainage, nose drainage, sore throat..
I am thankful to be up out of bed today! I actually got dressed. I am praying to feel better by the weekend since my son is home visiting from Arkansas and I haven't got to give him a big hug yet!
No news on my eye surgeries or my disability paperwork.....
Left in Limbo. I'm thinking that should be the new name for Graves. "Limbo"
It describes so much of our lives with that one word.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Friday ~~
Hubby took me to see Dr Ralph Wesley (eye surgeon) in Nashville. I have the all clear to go ahead with OD -- Orbital Decompression Surgery. I just have to wait for insurance approval. We will be doing the right eye first then 10-14 days later we will do the left eye.
Dr said that I will have to recover for 2-3 months before the next surgery, either straightening my turned in eye, or eye lid retraction surgery.
It was another long day with the car travel, anxiety attacks and then the great depression about having 2 separate surgeries on my eyes. Where the dr will drill out pieces of my skull bones!!
On top of all that craziness, I got a head and sinus cold thing going on. Even my throat is tender!

Tuesday, March 2, 2010


I got a call today on blood work from lst week.
My TSH is .88 . I was excited, I had the nurse repeat it twice to make sure i was hearing it right.
The nurse also said that GP is clearing me for surgery.
Hubby is taking me back to Nashville on Friday to see Dr. Ralph Wesley to discuss surgery options. Right now we are leaning heavily toward the orbital decompression, NOT the eyelid retraction.
Depression "waves" are more pronounced. And yet the anxiety attacks seem the same ????
My skin is changing its composition, from normal to oily and from combination to oily.
Great! Now I look and act like a teenager!!

Friday, February 26, 2010

Wahoooooo !!

I don't have anything wrong with my cornea. Specialist believes that it is Graves related, no damage to any part of my eyes. Referred me back to eye surgeon with the go ahead for surgery.

Going to GP today and hopefully will be getting new insight ~~

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

I go to the cornea specialist in a few hours........
I was able to get an earlier appointment and now I am scared of finding out......
Please pray for me

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

I have an appointment with cornea specialist Dr David Harris for March 24th.
It is so frustrating.........
I have to have 3 corrective eye surgeries in order to MAYBE correct the double vision & blurriness. And yet, I can't do anything until this NEW problem is checked out.
Meanwhile, my muscles still ache and i have been off the lipitor now for over 2 months -- so it should be completely out of my system. My emotions have been upside down and sideways.
Is there really a NORMAL?
I have been struggling with not laying down these burdens and turning them over to God.
I know that He will provide me with comfort and rest and He will guide me.
But it is hard knowing something and yet .......
I'm still hanging on to the problems... why?????

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Hubby took me to eye surgeon yesterday. It was another crazy experience!!
The dr doesn't want to do surgery on my eyes right now because of my extreme light sensitivity. I tried to explain it the best that I could. What I came up with is this.....
light feels like knives poking into my eyeball. Very painful. The eye surgeon thinks that I have some NEW underlying problem not related to Graves and is sending me to a cornea specialist. I will know more next week.
When I got home, I had a huge anxiety attack. I had my hopes up that my eyesight would be restored -- no double vision, blurriness or light issues-- within a few weeks with surgery. And the realization that I am facing yet another hurdle was too much for me to handle.
Thankfully mom keep my son for the night because the loud wailing and uncontrollable sobbing would have scared him for life ! hahaha

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

The muscle pain is incredible!! I hurt so bad. I have been trying otc meds and today tried a hot soak and then some biofreeze cream. it seemed to help for a few hours. But now i am wondering how i will be able to sleep......

Saturday, January 30, 2010

My eyesight is worse now. I go the eye surgeon this Friday for a final consult. The double vision makes life unbearable. This post is so hard to put up. Before it was just dealing with blurriness and occasional double vision. Now the double vision is almost a constant issue. Hopefully the surgeon can explain my options to dh and me -in language we understand :)

Still dont' know anything about the pain in my muscles. The edno said that "its just graves" , while my gp thinks there might me other issues going on. I'm taking otc for the pain and am able to function on most days. I will deal with that more once eyes taken care of.

Endo also upped meds. Now on 224. he said highest was 300. Endo also told me that I was the WORST case of TED that he'd ever seen. That did make me feel special ~~~ hahahaha
He also said that i needed to exercise and lose some weight. i asked "how am i supposed to exercise when i can't get dressed b/c pain is so bad, or depression has me crying all day?"
His suggest was to get a trainer that could work with me....
I asked him if he was paying...... He looked at me funny, and i explained that we have lost our savings this past year to my health and that we still owe around 4k. NOT even considering the cost of the eye surgeries i'm looking at having. I think that endo's are used to people breaking down in the office, b/c he didn't act like it bothered him that i was hysterical.

I am still fighting the depression and anxiety. The anxiety attacks are getting more frequent, could be that i have been thinking about the eyes more ? ??

Please keep me in your prayers and let's all pray for a cure for Graves Disease!

Monday, January 11, 2010

I saw the dr on the 31st and my sed rate is still elevated. He wants me to stay off the lipitor for a few more weeks and retest, if the pain has not went away. :(
The joint pain is still there in my hands, wrists, shoulders, lower back and sometimes jaw. But the muscle pain has went away!!
My family has had the worst kind of virus. It has claimed us all for the past 5 days. Casey is on the upswing, and I have nothing left to give the porcelain throne. ~~~
This week I go back to GP, Eye DR, and ENDO.
I hope that I have more answers.........
Many thanks to all out there keeping me in prayers, I have been lifted up out of the depths of depression. I still am experiencing 'waves' of depression, but nothing like what i was going through!! God Bless You!!